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Bitches or not, 99 problems is still a shit load of problems! @JessicaB_Diva

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Come on lads. Keeping a women happy isn’t THAT difficult! Yes we are 99.99% of the time, always right, when we say no, often we really mean yes (potentially don’t apply this to sex though.. You’ll be in a heap load of trouble) When we say we are “fine” we obviously mean we are anything but! If we tell you not to buy us gifts, you clearly have to buy us lots of expensive gifts. If we say “no, it’s ok, don’t worry about it” you sure as hell better do it anyway. If we say “nothing” when you ask what’s wrong then batten down the hatches, your in for a ear full.

Diamonds are a girls best friend, so are hoodies (yours) anything Nike, Dior, Cartier or Bulgari (Take Note)

Be spontaneous! Being oh so alpha, I’ve always been the one to organise shit! Dirty (or clean, whatever your into) Weekends away, surprise holidays, meals out yadda yadda. Now I’m all for equality, but it would be nice for a guy to express a creative bone in his body and come up with the goods now and again!

Couples who train together stay together (well at least till they split up anyway but the sentiment is there)

Fit girls like fit guys, guys, well they just like all girls..

Become the alpha- yeh you!

Be that guy

Every chick secretly wants to be bashed over the head with a club and dragged in a lair (or maybe this is just me)

No her bum does not look big in that (unless it’s mine, I work dam hard and squat some serious weight fo dat ass)

Of course she’s the most beautiful women on the planet and you only have eyes for her ๐Ÿ˜‰
Under NO circumstance did you just check out the hot piece of ass waiting your table

Basically fall over yourself to do shit for her, make her laugh, comfort her when she cries, protect her when she threatened, keep her warm when she’s cold, cold when she’s warm, be loyal, trustworthy and honest #simplereally

Follow these instructions from chapter one of “the women manual” and you should be just about fine and on your way to that detached house, 2.4 children, people carrier, picket fence and 30 years of arguments ๐Ÿ™‚

Take home points:
We are ALWAYS right

99 problems, don’t let a bitch be one!

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