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Pornstars, Ballers and Crawling on all fours… When diva hits the town… @JessicaB_Diva

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Once upon a time Diva had a brilliant idea to go out on her own in Barcelona after recently moving there for a short term work contract…

She takes the metro (Note to self: NEVER take the metro again late at night, all sorts of scary characters) She goes to a swanky rooftop club called The W.. hits the pornstar martini’s (buys 2 drinks at a time cause she is an idiot) scans the room from the bar for her prey, spots her target, HOT 6’5″ black guy in a snap back in the VIP with the DJ, dude looking all like an NBA player and shit It takes ONE look from diva, kinda like a cross between a death stare and a seductive look so deep she could be staring right into your soul.

Hot dude calls Diva over, Diva scores the VIP #Skillz (good effort, been in the joint 5 minutes) Diva hits the Hennessy, lets face it, it was going downhill from there lol. Diva gets thoroughly smashed (cause she is an idiot)…Danced her butt off with hot dude allllll night. Great time (she thinks …memory a bit sketchy) managed to bundle herself into a taxi and even somehow tell the driver where she lived.

It was a long journey home. I have vague recollections of the foreign driver being really cross with me.. No idea why haha Diva never wears heels, her feet were destroyed, literally crawled across the gravel barefoot with her Gucci bag from the taxi to her front door (classy) this of course after scaling a twelve foot locked gate! Thinking she had done well arriving home relatively unscathed (although broke) she realises she no longer has an iphone FFS! Diva doesn’t normally drink these days as she is too wild to behave herself, Diva didn’t leave her bed all day, Diva had a hangover.

and Diva lost her shoes!

Just call me Cinder ‘Fuckin’ Rella

The End.

Hoping the story ends with her iphone and shoes being found somewhere along the root from taxi to front door that she crawled… Its worth noting Diva that when the objective of the evening was to make new friends it would be courteous to at least ask the hot dudes name and maybe give him your number #Fail (although this method only actually works if you keep hold of your phone)…. I also doubt he had a yacht (generally the number 1 criteria) #DoubleFail

To be continued….

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